Breakfast and (Abdoh)ction

Breakfast and Abduction
Down at the Manhattan bridge overpass I watched the cars swim under me, faceless. If I were a maestro I’d perhaps orchestrate this noise. I get captured in scenes like this. I better get a move on.
The sun is coming out as I leave the overpass but I would have preferred rain. I do have a destination but I feel like my mind is a blank paper. She comes running towards me, my sister. She’s wearing a white dress, which bewilders me. Where’d she get those bangs? She grabs the book from my hand and opens it to the middle. She pretends to read from it but she’s using a made up language. She hugs me and walks away as if she doesn’t know me. Now I think I’m going to kill myself.
I close my eyes hoping that when I open them there will be breakfast on a table and we will be eating in some diner as a family. When I open my eyes the thought at least refreshed me. I am done with thinking and go on walking.
I sit down on the curb. I look up and see a U.F.O. I yell, “Take me!” I feel shy and self-conscious when it seems to notice me. I walk away from it pretending I didn’t just wave to it. It gains on me. I start running. I go into a deli. I order a turkey sandwich. When I come out the tall, thin figures in dark over coats take my arms and bring me into their space ship. I am actually happy. I’m glad I have some lunch to bring with me into the ship although I think I forgot to get water.
It looks like a recording studio in here. I remember the documentary I saw on Jimmy Hendrix. All this needs is leopard print but perhaps if Jimmy were alive he’d be a little modern now. “Do you have any water?” No response. “?Tienen alguna agua?”
“We’re bringing you home Francis.”
“Do you mean my current home or my original? Or do you mean destination, like Enlightenment?”
I notice that they aren’t speaking but a family on a TV is talking, a housewife, a little boy and a father picking up his briefcase. “Eat more toast,” says the mother.
The tall, mysterious figures bring me a plate of toast. I’m not sure if I should save my sandwich or not.
The TV is on pause. They fast forward it, press play and the father says, “Don’t go playing with hooligans.” Pause, fast ward, play. “Eat your breakfast.”
Finally they bring me tea so I eat the toast. The toast makes me so happy. It’s only slightly buttered. The orange juice reinvigorates my cells. I get up and introduce myself to these people. I look out the window. Already, we are in space. Maybe they’ll take care of me. Do they have water?
They take me and sit me back down on the couch. They recline it while one lifts my legs up, the other dragging a foot rest under it. They supply me with pipe and tobacco, one lighting it for me. “So a newspaper now?” I ask.
A figure holds up two papers, it appears one is from their planet and one is from Earth. I ask, “How hard are your crossword puzzles?” They give me the NY Times and one figure fetches me a pencil.
I finish the whole thing. I get up and stretch. A figure carries over a glass container, microwave-sized. After pushing a button it opens with a blowing sound, light protruding out of it. “Ooh, what’s this?”
A small puppy runs out of it. “There you are boy.” They take me by the elbows and bring me into a room. There is a bed. There is a grandfather clock. There is a dresser with pictures, little mirrors, some perfumes and little jewelry boxes on it. On the bed there lies a beautiful woman. She appears to be waiting for me. I’m not sure I’m in the mood to go over there. I turn around but the figures shift me back into the room and nudge me toward the bed. A figure puts a record on the record player. Another figure lights candles, another turning the electric lights out. Now I feel more at ease. I sit on the foot of the bed and the woman says, “I’m ready to make a baby.” I say, “Well, that’s good.” She starts to cry. A figure brings me a handkerchief and I pat the tears on her cheeks. “Now, now.” I say. “I suppose I can do this.” Her tongue, which drops from her mouth, is like a snake tongue. “Oh my god,” I say. “What are you?” The figures take her out of the room.
I sit there looking in my wallet for a condom considering whether it would be unethical to promise this woman a baby and sneak a shield in there. I stop looking and they bring her back and place her where she was next to me, legs up on the bed. I open her mouth and there is a human tongue in there. “What is this?” I ask. The figures leave us to ourselves.
An hour later I leave the room and look out the window. I enjoy watching the stars. I don’t feel like much is required from me when I look at them. The universe seems safe and complete and all I have to do is be peaceful. A boy runs up and tugs on my red robe.
“Hey boy.”
“Hey pop. Look at this trick.” He drops a yoyo down and brings it back up. “Wow boy. Where’d you get that thing?”
“Momma bought it for me.”
“Is that what you did yesterday at the store?”
“Yes and we took Lucky to the beach.”
Suddenly I remember my turkey sandwich.